IELTS Essay, topic: children and rules
In some countries
children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are
allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children
have to follow rules?
The extent to which
children have to follow rules is in itself a very complex issue, since
children across the world grow up in very different cultures. In India
for example, children are expected to be very submissive to their
parents as well as other adults around them. This, however, is not the
case with the Western countries of the world where children follow the
motto ‘Thou shalt do what thou wilt’ as promoted by celebrities and rock
stars. I believe that following strict rules has both advantages as
well as serious drawbacks as discussed below.
Firstly, strict
rules of behavior create responsible and respectful children who in turn
mature into respectful adults. This forms a stable society which is
virtually free from negative trends such as prostitution and drug abuse.
Secondly, if children do not follow strict rules of behavior, they may
get out of hand and become work-shy and indolent. This may then create a
burden on the society since the government has to find ways to cater
for these social ills.
However, forcing
children to follow strict rules of behavior doesn’t always yield
positive results as discussed above, most of the time it backfires and
works against society. For example, teenagers are more likely to do the
opposite of what they’re told to do simply because they want to be
independent. Children should also have rights to exercise their free
will and develop their own pattern of behaviors. Imposing strict rules
may simply destroy the individuality of children.
At the end of the
day, it is clear that children should be guided by rules, but these
rules should not be imposed on them because as human beings, they need
to have room to develop their own traits of character and adopt a
behavioral pattern of their own.
This essay is too
long (309 words instead of advised 250-265). Otherwise this work is a
very good one; it covers the task, your position is clear, the ideas are
well-organized, expressed, explained and supported. The sentences show a
wide range of language structures, cohesive devices and your grammar is
fine. Overall, this seems to be a band 7.5 or higher essay.
